User blog:Bobdave/Epic Rap Battles: Modern vs Classic. William Wilberforce vs Spartacus
Okay, class. What have we learned today? Well. We've learned that William Wilberforce has very few usable pictures available on Google Images for title cards. We also learned that as long as you blur a picture of a muscular actor enough, you can't tell the different between him and the different actor you'd been using for the character before. Finally, we learned that there aren't many pictures of an empty House of Commons from the 1800s in circulation. Seriously though, the graphics for this battle on Wilberforce's side are bullshit. Never mind that though! Here's the second episode of Modern vs Classic and I'm fairly proud of this one. The beat's quite a bit slower, meaning the rapping's quite fast paced and I enjoy writing in that style so yee. Apologies in advance for the awkward pauses in the beat. Sometimes I think they work, others they're too long, but fuck it. I think it still sounds aight. This battle features William Wilberforce, the British politician who was central to the dissolution of the slave trade and slavery overall in the British Empire. An extremely pious man whom historians have both praised for his resolute nature, and criticised for his lack of efficiency in getting his message out to his fellow politicians and the public. It also features ex-gladiator Spartacus. The man who led his fellow slaves in a revolt against Rome and its government against seemingly impossible odds, but eventually died at the hands of Marcus Licinius Crassus and his army whilst ol' Spart's allies lined the Via Appia with their crucified bodies. Fun. Here you go! DISCLAIMER: Major trigger warning if you're dense and think that these lines represent my personal views. ---- Instrumental: Now or Never by Hollywood Legend Productions (Intro from 0:00-0:17) 'William Wilberforce:' When I consider the magnitude of the man whom I am rapping to It's ludicrous! Go back to the ludus before I battle you I'm a badass activist with a radical attitude You're just barbarous, Spartacus, maybe show a little gratitude My man, you're a brother, and I totally respect you But after shit went south, you shoulda learned who to step to You were enslaved of course, that's a trade I can't support But that don't mean you won't feel my raging Wilberforce, sport! I'll skewer your scutum, you ruined your revolution Your campaigns were naught but a stain on the slave movement Now, we're both human, but I col-'em like I seum You only get one shot and you fucked up your freedom! Retreated to the Rhegium region for no reason Got cheated by some seamen, under siege from eight legions You were beaten! I died in peace with my protests successful Your arse was better off being oppressed in that cesspool! decent-sized pause 'Spartacus:' Take a seat! I'm back in the arena again! How's an MP gonna MC to a leader of men? 'Cause I rallied the Gallic and the Germanic to engagement Attack a tactician, get thrashed by a Thracian Glad you got the Africans off the plantations But I escaped enslavement without your Cambridge education Ask Plutarch, ruthless willpower is a part of us I'm no slave or gladiator, I am Spartacus! short pause 'William Wilberforce:' I'll leave you in a worse state than my mates in the middle passage Crucify you and your troops like Crassus You didn't aim for change, you're a freedman fraud Seems your lowly raps have been allotted by God 'Spartacus:' Your rhymes are a vice to suppress, so quit spittin' Or I'll rip you to bits with some kitchen equipment You passed the bill, Bill, twenty years in that battle Then another twenty six till blacks were actually unshackled Your inefficient abolition is the only thing insulting These white-collar raps are like my comrades: revolting Assault your paltry policies and throw you in a Pitt I'm a man of the people, you're only in it for the rich! I'm the baddest in battle and the rebellion's catalyst Come let your big mouth have a chat with my gladius I take a Practical View on how to make things right Less piety! Less sloth! Less talk! More fight! huge fucking pause 'William Wilberforce:' Is that your warplan, man? 'Cause the fact remains Your strategy was more run, fewer aims, less brains! I created a link when I broke open the chains! So will you finish this battle or just desert it again? 'Spartacus:' We're not brothers, you know jack about being a submissive Only time you've been whipped is on Whigs and your missus People died 'cause you couldn't grow a sack, you wack bastard! You may have been the liberator, but this victory's been captured decent-sized pause 'Announcer:' WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? Epic (the logo is on the floor and attempts to rise but it restrained by a chain) Rap (the logo attempts again, with more vigour) BATTLES (another attempt) MODERN VS CLASSIC (the logo breaks free and leaps to fill the screen) ---- Hints Explained The robot, or machine, wears a crown. The crown symbolises a Queen whilst the robot is a machine. Queen is further referenced by the capital letters in the file title spelling Sinatra, Mercury's opponent. Machines is a song by Queen which on the B-Side, or backside as the arrow was pointing to, has "I Want To Be Free", a reference to slavery. I'll try and make the hints less in-depth next time, but I think people were getting pretty close so yee. Hints for the next battle WHO WON? William Wilberforce Spartacus Category:Blog posts